BuzzStoc

When someone says “the world’s greatest supervillains,” who do you think about? The Joker? Lex Luthor? The Green Goblin? All great choices, and not because of the powers they have or weapons they wield: they’re ruthless, calculating criminals who would scare the crap out of anyone. Sadly, this collection supervillains never got the memo: despite their superpowers and fantastic gadgets, they’re still complete dorks under their disguises. In fact, we combed through the silliest of the silly, and found 5 villains we think are the most laughable; see if your (least) favorite made the list.

7. Monsieur Mallah

What is it about a monkey with a gun that makes us want to groan and cheer at the same time? Well, Planet of the Apes was mainly groan-inducing, but what if you took one of those intelligent rifle-toting apes, gave him a French accent and a stylish beret, and put him up against some equally weird heroes? You would get Monsieur Mallah, a villain from the comic Doom Patrol. Hm… an armed French ape… sounds like middle America’s worst nightmare.

6. Captain Boomerang

G’day mate! I’m Captain Boomerang, arch nemesis of The Flash. I have no super powers to speak of, but I am  an expert at Boomerangs, and throwing them. Also, I’m Australian, so I got that going for me. Um… did I mention I’m good with Boomerangs? Also, I’m known for being really cheap. Why else would I have stolen my costume from Benihana chef?

5. Toyman

Who the hell thinks toys are menacing? That would be Toyman, a Superman villain who fights the world’s mightiest hero with toys. Frickin’ toys. To be fair, he went through several identities before settling on Toyman. He found that as Candyman and Cuddly Puppyman no one took him seriously, so he moved on to the next most menacing thing. Call us when you move up to being Potentially Dangerous Sports Equipmentman.

4. The Vulture

It’s not that creepy old guys in spandex aren’t scary, just not so much in a world-domination kind of way: it’s more of an inappropriate-sexual-advances sort of creepiness. Maybe we’ve been wrong about why he harasses young Peter Parker all along…

3. The Fiddler

Oh no! Here comes The Fiddler, everybody run! Is he… oh dear God, he’s playing Brahms! It’s his famous German Requiem…we’re all doomed! In case you’re wondering, The Fiddler wasn’t just a disgruntled street musician. He played music that could hypnotize at least as well as Jedi mind tricks, but that’s only when people stopped laughing at his costume long enough to listen.

2. Granny Goodness

Darkseid, the fearsome and powerful ruler of the planet Apokalips, has many generals. Among them are the cunning Steppenwolf, the super-strong Kalibak, the sadistic DeSaad, and… um… Granny Goodness. She leads a team of assassins called the Female Furies, but her name sort of makes you think the worst she could do is serve you slightly burned cookies or bore you to death with stories about her son who lives in Baltimore. The name is definitely intended to be sarcastic, but what’s next? Helpful Stranger? Kindly Old Man? Watch out, he’s feeding the ducks little bits of bread!

1. The Trapster (aka Paste Pot Pete)

Ok, a lot of villians shoot things at their enemies. Bullets, lasers, heat rays, beams of radiation, and throwing knives are all popular choices. Not for The Trapster, though: he shoots glue at people. Let us repeat that for those who weren’t paying attention: he shoots glue at people. Apparently running around in a skin-tight spandex body suit with thigh-high boots isn’t Freudian enough for this guy. Do us a favor, Pete: wear whatever you want, just keep that paste pot in your pants.